Thu, Aug 07 2008 by Vanessa.

A very good friend of mine took me on a trip today that broke my heart, brought joy to my day and showed me, once again, how wonderful my life is. First, let me tell you about my friend. Her name is She-Ra or Wonder Woman, whichever you prefer. She holds down a full time job as a software engineer, she cares for her amazingly well-mannered son, her devoted husband and her adorable little dog, she invited three (yes count them … one, two, three…) foster children into her home recently, she takes such loving care of her mother who lives several hours away and yet she still finds time to help those in need by delivery lunches for Meals On Wheels during her lunch hour. Think you “don’t have time” to volunteer? Check out this woman and you’ll soon feel like a piece of dog poo, rotting in the hot Texas sun for uttering such false words. EVERYONE has time to volunteer just one hour every couple weeks or every month so don’t give me the “I’m just too busy” excuse.

Anyway, back to She-Ra. So, She-Ra and I drove through a fairly impoverished part of San Antonio to deliver something like 10 lunches to elderly people in need. One poor woman sat outside her house, in the heat and humidity, for an hour and a half to make sure she didn’t miss us. It was her first day so she found herself learning the ropes, just as I was! The sweet little old lady spoke Spanish so I only caught bits and pieces of her conversation with She-Ra (oh yeah, She-Ra is bilingual too!) but the poor thing who was caring for a small kitten (see … even SHE finds time to care for another less fortunate soul) wanted to make sure she didn’t miss her lunch so she sat on the porch for hours. It really made me think … I complain that I have cravings, that I sooooo want a Blizzard right now, but that poor woman wasn’t having a craving. She was just hungry. A menu was not provided, offering selections of Top Choice meats or organically grown fruits and vegetables from far-away exotic places. Nope. She sat there waiting for whatever someone might be kind enough to bring to her. What if she doesn’t like the chicken tenders, mixed veggies, slice of bread, pear and chocolate milk that we delivered? Tough cookies, no pun intended.

So, I ask myself, how in the name of our founding fathers did America EVER let this happen? When did we become a society that allows our elderly to be hungry? How did we become so incredibly selfish and just plain greedy that we will actually utter the words “I don’t have the time or money to volunteer” and then turn around and go out to eat or go to the movies hours later? Shame on America. Luxuries abound in America and yet we find it more important to invest millions of dollars in the creation of sports arenas than we do feeding our own people. So much food is wasted every single day in this country while people go hungry. Why? Bureaucracy in my opinion. Any restaurant manager can attest to the POUNDS of food that are thrown out everyday … food that wasn’t ever touched or delivered to a table. WHY oh WHY can’t we find a way to distribute this food to those who are hungry? Maybe I’ll put that on one of my to-do lists. It just makes sense.

In the meantime, I’ll keep fostering dogs, donating money to humane societies, raising money for agencies who help those with Down Syndrome and now, maybe I’ll add deliver meals to elderly in need every other Thursday with She-Ra. My activities may not change the world but hopefully they at least change the day for somebody out there. Do unto others and you would have them do unto you!

Posted in Vanessa's Ramblings | No Comments »

Tue, Aug 05 2008 by Vanessa.

Well, my discovery may not shock the world in terms of novelty or true insight.  I hope that it at least gets someone to rethink their priorities.  I realized yesterday, while throwing a load of laundry into the washer, that I missed my husband.  We spend most of each day together, now that he belongs to the world of independent workers.  It apparently,  took no time at all for me to start expecting his presence near me at all times.  Personally, I like this.  I like knowing that John is nearby, even if he’s in his office and I’m in mine.  Anyway, John spent the day in training and his physical location, away from the house, made me miss him.  I thought it a little silly at first since we get to spend so much time together but then I realized when I married him, I asked John to be part of my life.  I promised to share my life with him.  This lead me to start thinking about the days when we both worked outside the house.  Driving to work, actually being at work, and driving back home takes a good 9 - 10 hours of your time each day.  We are big sleepers so that’s at least another 7-8 hours a day.  So that’s anywhere from 16 - 18 hours a day that we were physically apart or just unconscious to the world around us, including each other.  The result is 6-8 hours a day that we MIGHT spend together, however, it’s shared with running errands, paying bills, cooking (which we usually do together), cleaning house and everything else.  I realized, after having this thought, that before I left my permanent job and John left his we truly spent only a small fraction of each day together.  Is that really sharing my life with John, as I promised I would when we got married?  It certainly would not have been romantic to say,

“I Vanessa, take thee John, to be my husband and I promise to share 2-3 hours a day with you.  Maybe 4 or 5 if we’re really lucky.  Truly, I promise that when I’m not off, living the majority of my life without you, I’ll find a way to squeeze you in.”

I hear a lot of people say they could not stand to be around their spouse that much.  I feel sorry for them.  I love being with my husband.  Even if we just sit somewhere and watch people do their thing, we have so much fun.  It seems horrible to me to think that people have promised their lives to spouses that they can’t stand to spend a lot of time with.  Regardless, my discovery that I love hanging out with my husband reinforces my already firm belief that we need to move on and create a life full of experiences.  Sitting in an office, staring out the window thinking “Man it’s a nice day out.  It would be so much fun to have a picnic with the dogs.”  is not the way I want to live my life.  I want to go on that picnic WITH my husband!

Posted in Vanessa's Ramblings | No Comments »